Asexuality & Aromanticism

on amatonormativity, allyship & identity

Welcome to the ace and aro resources carrd! I've set up the sections as follows:

  • Section 1: Ace & Arospec 101

  • Section 2: Misconceptions & Amatonormativity

  • Section 3: Identity & Microlabels

I would encourage allies or those needing basic information to read through sections 1 & 2, and those questioning or wanting to do some further reading to peruse sections 2 & 3.Please use this resource before asking for labor from ace and aro-specs or other queer folx.Additionally, read up on compulsory heterosexuality and amatonormativity to check your own biases before engaging.


For feedback and inquiries, find me at @violetcavalcades on ko-fi or instagram.

Ace & Arospec 101

Asexuality (ace) is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to others, and is a sexual orientation like bisexual or homosexual. It can also refer to the asexual umbrella, which is a collection of identities including demisexual and graysexual that fall along the asexual spectrum (ace-spec).Aromanticism (aro) is defined as a lack of romantic attraction to others, and is a romantic orientation. It can also refer to the aromantic umbrella, which is a collection of identities including demiromantic and grayromantic that fall along the aromantic spectrum (aro-spec).Please refer to the Split Attraction Model (SAM) for more information.

Charts, infographics, and prominent writers in the field.

Misconceptions & Amatonormativity

"[Amatonormativity is] the belief that marriage and companionate romantic love have special value leads to overlooking the value of other caring relationships. I call this disproportionate focus on marital and amorous love relationships as special sites of value, and the assumption that romantic love is a universal goal, ‘amatonormativity’:This consists in the assumptions that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types."- Elizabeth Brake, Minimizing Marriage

How to be an ally, what to not say, and things aces wish you knew. As always, being respectful, not making assumptions and educating yourself are good pointers to follow.

Writing ace and aro-spec characters: do your research!